G.K. washed ashore in 1954 in a small wicker basket
during tropical storm Hazel. He was plucked from the mangrove
swamps of Louisiana and raised by an illiterate and childless
couple to pique the curiousity of petty voyeurs and quickly
came to the attention of the CIA

Schooled in pre-scholastic and proto-ciliastic philosophy at the
Sorbonne, he graduated in 1967 (the year a fire destroyed all
records of matriculating students). G.K. then spent several
years traveling the Middle East disguised as a bedouin,
touring holy sites, but was thrown out of Saudi Arabia
after walking the wrong way around the Kaaba at the
Great Mosque in Mecca. He then returned to the U.S.
and has been employed by Gen-X Inc., a new media
company rumoured to be the parent company of
The Red Monkeys Serial News Corpse