"It was very hot and humid for us in those waters, especially when we had to lie low and couldn't resurface for extremely long periods of time. One time, because we were in such close quarters, the Captain asked me to smell him to see if he smelled bad but he and I both had the same kind of smell, we stank the same,* so we couldn't smell one another."
___From an interview with a Second World War German submarine officer whose wolf pack sank over one hundred and seventy American ships off the coast of Louisiana before Admiral King, the American in charge of defending our coast, finally bothered to try to stop them [mainly as a result of continuous complaints by fishermen and sunbathers regarding all the dead bodies polluting the coastline piers and beaches]. The British had given the Admiral lengthy expert advice regarding anti-submarine methods and technology that he shockingly ignored for two full years before bothering to do anything to counteract the huge ongoing losses of American men and ships.
Samuel Johnson, the marvelous man who created the first English Dictionary, would have been proud of the German Officer's use of the word "stank." James Boswell, the biographer who followed Johnson practically everywhere he went, wrote that Johnson was an adamant stickler for the precise use of words. In the 18th Century, most words were more pristine, having considerably less multiple meanings and usages than they have today and Johnson meant to keep it that way for as long as he could. He often pointed out that an improper or sloppy word usage distracts from and weakens the point that the speaker or writer is trying to make.
In those days bathing frequently was considered to be a dangerous health risk and accordingly Johnson only bathed once a month. When he did, he always put on a clean shirt and thus his monthly dip was referred to as "clean shirt day." On Clean Shirt Day his stench was at a minimum so Samuel, being the considerate gentleman that he was, would use this day to go visiting since rides were long and coaches were a terribly cramped manner of travel and especially since as many people as possible would frequently be packed into a single coach.
Boswell writes that one sad day Johnson got news from a dear friend who was on his deathbed that the friend hoped for one last visit from him, and would Johnson be so kind as to come quickly since he would surely soon expire.
In spite of the fact that it was not clean-shirt-day, Samuel immediately squeezed Boswell and himself into a coach while nevertheless managing, in spite of the bumps in the road, to continue working on his treatise on the purity of language. After many miles of long-suffering looks and fluttering sighs, and tiring of having to hold her dainty handkerchief to her rather large nose, the very elegant lady sitting across from Johnson could no longer stand the stench and timorously remarked, "Pardon me sir, but you smell."
"No madam," replied Johnson, quickly looking up from his notes,"You smell, I stink !"
© 2004__Muldoon Elder